Karina Hsieh coined the term, “Honeymourn” Spring 2020 while on a two week vacation in Hawaii with her soon-to-be-ex partner. They wanted to celebrate everything they’d had together, appreciate the other and how they had grown during their relationship. They had so much unconditional love for each other, but over time acknowledged that they had different visions for our futures, and ultimately needed to honor themselves and each other… by letting go.
They knew it was unconventional to take a vacation together before separating and some cautioned them against it, thinking they might yo-yo or create more heartache. But this was their journey, their conscious uncoupling, their “Honeymourn” as they named it—they got to author how they wrapped up their beautiful union.
Many people think that once they break up with their partner, they have to cut that person out of their life. But Karina and her partner believed that once they loved someone, they would continue to love and care about them. Why cut them out just because the label has changed? They still mean a lot to each other, even if they were not meant to be romantic partners. They could still get the best of each other as friends, championing the other to become their best self.
Karina wrote this poem to her partner as a farewell tribute:
With a heavy heart,
I release yours,
Allow it to float back out of my cupped, loving hands,
To nestle back into your own.
I wanted to hold and cherish your love for the rest of time,
but the key didn’t fit in the lock quite right.
We’d jiggle it a bit to make it work,
but in the end, we knew there would be a more perfect fit.
I don’t want to give your heart back,
And have you give me mine.
I don’t want someone else to hold yours
or another to have mine.
Yours is the one I love and cherish,
the one I hold tenderly, gently.
But I know in my heart of hearts,
you’ll be happier with someone else holding it,
and I, yes, I (somehow) will be too.
But once you hold a heart,
a part of its essence lovingly lines your hands.
Our hands glimmer with love.
So I will always hold your love,
and you will always hold mine,
even if it’s a curve, a trace of its former size (in human terms).
But love is actually infinite,
so any amount you hold is ALL love.
So even though we won’t be partners the same way,
we will still hold our love,
and all loves we’ve held and released,
like love gloves on our hands.
I will always love and cherish you, my darling S. Thank you for having been my wonderful partner in this extraordinary chapter. I look forward to adventuring and growing with you as friends, however the future unfolds. I’ll be seeing you…